Stripped:An Intimate Portrait of the Crimson Squad
by TheCalligrapher1
Summary: Everyone has their secrets. Even the members of Spira's reknowned Crimson Squad. Some keep them well hidden, others don't. What happens when they finally do come out? Thats for you to read and find out.
1. Paine

A/N: So I started a new story. I'm going to try to keep it PG-13. There are four parts to this story. One for each Crimson Squad member. And they all have some dark thing that they do that some don't want people to know about and others do. I got the idea when I was watching Lifetime's Intimate portrait. Ok, so enough babbling. I hope you enjoy this.

**Stripped: An Intimate Portrait of the Crimson Squad**

Part 1: Paine

She positioned herself in the sand with both hands propped behind her body. She had on leg bent in an arch; the other lay straight in front of her. Her head was tilted up toward the ceiling; she could feel the cool air nip at her bare skin as her hair brushed against her back. She smiled as the bright lights bathed her face.

Even though her eyes were closed she could feel Ergos, her stunning blonde cast mate, kneel next to her. Lifting her left hand she placed in on his smooth cheek as he rest his warm palm against her stomach. Opening her eyes she tilted her head slightly towards him and gave him one of her stunning smiles.

Flashes went off from every direction of the room. The couple shifted through various positions over the span of two hours. Having make-up redone and being twisted in every which way. Paine was beginning to grow restless. And it didn't help that there was a draft in the room that was starting to sting her bare flesh. She wanted to get up and stretch but she knew she couldn't less she ruin the position and compromise the pictures.

She had never really liked the photo shoots. She hadn't gotten into this business for that. She really didn't give a flying chocobo what the cover of the box looked like. She had gotten into the industry for the carnal release. This job provided her with something all the slaughtering of fiends in the world couldn't give her. So much had happened in the last couple years and she had let her pain consume her. If raw, meaningless sex were the only way to ease the agony that eroded her insides, then she would do it every day for the rest of her life if she had to.

As she shifted through more positions she began to think of him for the millionth time that day. The way the light reflected from his deep chocolate eyes. Or how he was always adjusting his blue headband so that his soft white hair wouldn't fall into his eyes. Or the softness of his cinnamon skin. Thoughts of him always invaded the privacy of her mind no matter how hard she tried to fight them. He was part of the reason she felt the need to violate herself.

Baralai had never been one for more than polite conversation. And she admired that fact because she wasn't much of a conversationalist herself. But there were those rare times back in their training days that they would sit outside and stare up at the moon and share their hopes and dreams, their pasts and futures. But not anymore. Not since the Den of Woe. They had come close to that intimate friendship that they had once had and may something more after they had defeated Vegnagun but that all was torn apart at the reunion party. But too many secrets had come out there. Words had been yelled that couldn't be taken back. Hearts had been broken and friendships destroyed.

Paine fought to keep the burning hot tears from sliding down her cheeks as she reminisced about a love that never was. Pushing Baralai far from her mind she regained her composure. It was almost time to start filming and she couldn't have red puffy eyes. She had to be a picture of beauty. That was where her real therapy began. In the filming. She could fight away all her demons that way.

Some people kept diaries, and some people wrote books or poetry about their tragedies but not Paine. She chose another way of venting. So what if thousands of Spirians could buy in on sphere-vid or go see it at a late night theater in a couple months. She didn't really care. As long as the pain subsided for just a little while. People thought that just because she was a former Gullwing and Honored Warrior of Spira she should be held to some impossible standard. Yet still it didn't keep their eyes from being glued to the screen whenever the say her vids. Paine refused to conform. She'd be who she wanted to be. She'd do what she wanted to do. And nobody could stop her.


	2. Gippal

A/N: So here we are with part two. Sorry it has taken me so long to update. I had a family crisis and wasn't able to do much in the writing area. Some of you didn't get the last chapter. So just for those of you who didn't know what was up with Paine, she was a porn star. This story is meant to be vague and abstract. So with that said, I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Stripped: An Intimate Portrait of the Crimson Squad

Part 2: Gippal

It was cold inside the D'jose Temple and Gippal could feel the chill deep within his bones. He could hear hushed whispers of Al Bhed floating through the corridors. He wondered if they were all talking about him again.

He sat at his desk fiddling with random machina parts. But tonight that wasn't silencing the arguments raging on inside his head. One side of him was telling him to get on the next airship to Bevelle and confess his love to Baralai. The other told him that he was being unreasonable and that he should accept the fact that he was in a relationship for the long haul with Rikku. It wasn't that he didn't love her, it just wasn't in the way that she needed and wanted to be loved. On the flip side Baralai wouldn't necessarily return his feelings because of his position in the temple. Besides, Gippal didn't want to be alone. If he was unsure about everything else, he was positive that he didn't want to be alone.

Standing up Gippal ran his fingers through his blonde spiky hair. He looked around at the drab gray walls. He hated living in the temple. Ironically, if he and Baralai were ever to be in a serious relationship that would mean that he'd have to live in the temple in Bevelle. Well, not exactly in the temple but in the Bevelle Palace, which was basically the same thing.

He cursed himself for falling in love with a Yevonite. And the Praetor at that; even worse a man. Yevonites were trouble. They just didn't mix with Al Bhed. They were a prejudiced and hateful sort of people. His missing eye was a testament to that. But when it came to Baralai all reason flew out the window. All he could see was the fair haired Praetor's resonating smile and his confident and calm demeanor.

Pacing the floor Gippal thought about the reasons Baralai would reject him. Tugging at the sleeves of his shirt he wrapped his arms around himself and shivered. He hated this feeling and desperately wanted it to end. The pain was burning his insides and he had to make it stop. He just had to.

He had promised himself a million times that he's stop. It wasn't that easy to do on his own and he was to ashamed to seek help because that would mean revealing his secret and admitting to others that he had a problem and wasn't okay. Gippal knew what he was about to do was wrong and he hated himself for it.

Rolling up his sleeves he looked into the bathroom mirror. He could barely recognize the man staring back at him. His normally tanned skin was deathly pale, his lips were dry and cracked and he had a dark circle around his eye. He needed rest and should have been taking better care of himself. In fact he should have been at Rikku's.

Opening the medicine cabinet, he removed a small shiny razor blade. Then he began to slice into the tender flesh of his arms. He felt the warm blood seep out from the fresh incision spilling over the sides of his wrists. For some reason beyond him, he didn't feel any pain, just a bittersweet release. It amazed him how one pain could numb another. It wasn't like he was proud of himself or his actions. There just came a point when the emotional pain became too much to handle.

After he cleaned himself up, he dressed himself for a trip to Bevelle. Tonight something new had to begin. He was going to summon the courage to reveal his true feelings to Baralai. And if he couldn't do that, he'd still be able to catch a glimpse of the Praetor.

Once Gippal had reached the Bevelle Palace he felt a strange sensation come over him. Something just didn't feel right. As he walked across the courtyard he saw the light flicker in and then off in Baralai's room. He could see the young Praetor sitting at his desk. His head bent low as if he were deep in concentration. But why was he sitting in the dark? He watched as Baralai began to stand up but he faltered and collapsed to the floor.


	3. Baralai

A/N: Sorry this has taken a long time to complete. I've had some personal problems lately and sort of lost my creative inspiration. Thanks Anrixan for convincing me to write again and get this posted.

Stripped: An Intimate Portrait of the Crimson Squad

Part III: Baralai

He didn't appreciate the way they whispered behind his back. Did it matter whether he slept with a man or a woman? Bisexuality was something he had always struggled with. More specifically, his bisexuality. It was something that he had never fully come to terms with. It had never presented a major problem in his life until the man or woman had names and faces. Now he was presented with the dilemma of loving both a man and a woman. One was his best friend and the other was his confidante.

If he had to make a choice, who would he chose? And would that be the best possible choice? Who would it hurt? And could he handle it? He knew that there would be consequences no matter who he chose. If he chose Paine, he would be publicly ridiculed for loving porn's first lady. She thought that he didn't know. That he didn't see her on the covers of adult spheres in seedy little shops. It was foolish of her to ever think that she could hide something from him. And Gippal, too. He thought that he didn't know about his self-mutilation. But he did. He had to admit to himself that if he did choose Gippal it would be so much easier to keep his secret. Paine's was impossible to keep from the public eye. Yet still, he couldn't hide that Gippal was Al Bhed. A prominent one at that. But Baralai had secrets of his own to keep.

Standing up from his desk Baralai began to pace back and forth. He hated feeling this way. He hated not having all the answers. And it didn't matter who he chose because in the end he'd end up hurting someone he loved. It wasn't fair. He deserved to be happy just like everyone else. It seemed like everyone in Yevon was out to destroy his happiness.

He felt hopeless. Sitting back down at the great oak desk before him, Baralai removed a small black sphere from his bottom drawer. Punching in the combination on the holographic keypad a small object ejected. Baralai emptied the contents of the small box onto the smooth surface of the desk. He grabbed a letter opened from the jar beside him and proceeded to cut the white powdery substance into seven neat lines.

He just had to make the pounding in his head stop. The aching in his heart had just become too much for him to deal with that night. He didn't feel like being strong and collected tonight. He just wanted some peace and quiet within his mind. He craved numbness. He had an early meeting in the morning and he didn't want his thoughts taking control of him.

With each line he snorted he began to feel even number than the one that he had inhaled moments before. His started to tingle and still it wasn't enough so he continued to inhale the drug until there was nothing left for him to snort. The horrible thoughts had disappeared and his body was beginning to relax.

Baralai sighed and stood up again. The room began to spin and everything became a big blur. Something didn't feel right. His upper lip felt wet and he could feel the moisture running down his face. He lifted his had to his face and touched the wetness. Looking down at his hand he saw a blurred red substance on his fingers. Tears streamed down his cheeks and mixed with the blood. He'd over done it this time and began to panic. The room spun faster and faster until he felt like he was falling. Then everything went black.


	4. Nooj

A/N: So this is the last part in this story. I'm so happy that I am finishing it. It is actually kind of weird because I wrote Nooj first then Paine, the Gippal, and I got stuck on Baralai. This one was for you Ikon. I pray that I did Nooj even a little bit of justice. This was my baby and I hope you all enjoy this one.

Stripped: An Intimate Portrait of the Crimson Squad

Part IV: Nooj

He sat there under that hot water letting it pelt his tender flesh and steel. Taking off his glasses he placed them on the inlet inside the tub. He watched as the steam swirled about him fogging up the windows and glass inside the bathroom. He could hear his favorite opera playing in the background as he tilted his head back and grasped his standard issued automatic handgun which Gippal had modified to release twice as many rounds of ammunition in a fourth of the amount of time.

Yes, he would miss them. Especially Paine. He had identified with her. The young silver haired beauty's anger and aggression had always appealed to him and some how soothed him during times when he felt like he just couldn't carry on anymore. She was also part of the reason that he felt like he needed to move on to the farplane.

Though he would never admit it, Nooj had fallen desperately in love with the young warrior. But he knew in his heart of heart that she would never return his affections. At least not in the way that he wanted her too. She had always given her heart silently to the Praetor. He wondered if she knew that Baralai was a homosexual. She probably didn't because she had a way of blocking out things that she mentally didn't want to deal with or accept.

The Deathseeker is what they called him. And tonight that is what he sought. Being the immaculate person that he was he decided to have the whole incident take place in a confined area. He didn't want his housekeeper, Shelinda, to have much of a mess to clean up.

Cocking the gun he lifted it to his temple. Just as he began to pull the trigger he heard the loud shrieking of his phone penetrating his concentration and determination. He heard Gippal's voice frantically babbling out about some urgent emergency. But what really caught his attention were Paine's screams in the background. He couldn't understand anything either was saying. All he could make out was the desperation and panic in their voices. Tonight he wouldn't find death. His friends needed him. More important, Paine needed him.

Sliding the glass door open to the shower Nooj stepped one foot out. He felt the remaining foot in the shower slip on something slimy beneath him. Falling backwards he slammed his head into the shower nozzle, sending him sliding to the bottom of the tub. He heard gunshots ring out as he watched the bullets ricochet off of the wall of the marble inside the tub. He realized that he had forgotten to put the safety back on as thirty-six bullets flew in different directions around the enclosed walls.

His whole life began to flash before his eye. Things he had done. Things he hoped for. Things he regretted and wanted to atone for. This he should never have said as well and things that he wished he had said. He found himself not wanting to die as he tried to regain his balance as he scrambled up from the floor of the tub. He gasped in desperation as bullets entered his flesh and bounced off other that were made of steel. Once more he slumped to the bottom of the tub. This time there were rivers of blood escaping his lifeless body. He had finally found death at last.


End file.
